No one wants the real me anymore
As a living, breathing human, I’m no fun nor essential company for anyone anymore. I can’t supply a major pleasure or the many little Dopamine hits everyone I know craves.
When I speak to people, they remain engrossed in reading or typing on their devices more often than not. They hear half to naught of what I say. If I am serious about getting listened to for any (always questionable) reason, I am better off messaging them on their favourite channel.
Not just that, what I say has more meaning and gets more respect if it comes to them via WhatsApp, FB, LinkedIn, or Instagram. Even e-Mail will do, but not looking into my eyes and listening to my voice across thin air. The direct contact instantly degrades me to ordinary and irritating.
I thought about how I could remain attractive, at least to my friends. I considered many ways— being mindful, raising my emotional intelligence, mugging up jokes, chilling more, learning the Gen-something lingo, etc. I thought I could develop a real-world persona that people prefer over their digital network. But I failed. Miserably.
So I’ve ended up without my physical being being important to anyone. Only my virtual existence has some residual significance. I am not talking about financial value but emotional and perhaps intellectual worth.
I am not particularly self-pitying nor a masochist. So it may not be a condition unique to me. If you feel like I do, please let me know. We can commiserate with each other. Virtually, of course.