Emanations of the Philosophy of Life Instinct
I have such a need to express myself, in speech and in writing. Wherefrom does this urge come? I can see a large part of it comes from the needs of my ego, my id. It seems to be a part of our evolution to have this urge. Perhaps it increases my survivability. But evolution has given me two extra facilities – consciousness of self and choice (if we grant I have free will, for a moment). Consciousness allows me to look down at myself. Choice allows me to not do something that a lesser evolved creature will do by instinct. So what light do consciousness and choice throw on my constant desire to tell others what I think?They throw a revealing light.
For what do I have to say? Is it really all that knowledgeable, wise, useful? Compared to what I don’t know, compared to the scope for wisdom, compared to how much more useful millions are, it is ridiculously and absurdly inconsequential.
Even if it is of some tiny use for someone around me at a point in time, in the face of the meaningless of the cosmos, it is ultimately valueless.
So, time to stop talking? Time to stop blogging?
Hmm…but is it a cop-out? Is it a part of my worldly duties to my family, friends and society to speak? If so, how much? On which subjects? In what manner? To what purpose?
Or is it a con? Am I actually avoiding pain to myself? Am I in fact so egoistical that I would rather not speak than risk being treated as less than a guru?
Difficult questions.
Until I find convincing answers I will continue to let my ego speak, but surely this question will always accompany my every utterance and perhaps one day I shall make the choice of silence, sooner the better.
Submitted humbly, as always.
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