Rare states of bliss to savour and recall.
One day I was walking along on a footpath next to a green field. The trees were in bloom, the air was clear, and it was peaceful all around, with hardly any people to be seen. I was feeling fit in body, and there was nothing on my mind about family, work or anything else. I had heard a beautiful piece of music by Mahler the night before, and snatches were still playing in my head.
As I walked along a feeling came over me of lightness and peace and contentment which I had never felt before. A smile came to my face as I became aware of this sensation. I thought the feeling would dissolve quickly, but it stayed with me as I kept walking. It was like a mixture of happiness and acceptance of the world and everything in it, including myself, as they were. It was like a sustained sense of joy, but one that was calm and unhurried. And it was not only an inward feeling directed at me. It was mixed with an underlying sensation that I had been stressing over the wrong things for too long. That I would for sure see the petty things in myself and shed them. That there was nothing and no one to be afraid of. That I would be good and do good. And that I would truly love and enjoy life as it came. It was like a mellow golden glow suffused me and my world.
From nowhere, a word came to my mind as I underwent this. I looked at it and wondered whether it was right and fitting. But it would not go away. It only resonated more and disallowed any other. The word was ‘Grace’.
Perhaps it came to mind as I associated it with the Christian concept of Divine Grace. But I knew I meant it differently. My ‘grace’ was not so much on the receiving of a blessing but of being in this blessed state of mind. Since then, I have always referred to this state now as being in Grace.
I have wanted to experience this Grace often but have been fortunate enough only a couple of times. I intend to have someday a way to experience it a lot more, perhaps at will. I will work out what I need to be and do that results in it. Maybe it can never be continuous but could comprise a significant part of the rest of my life.
Some of you may have also experienced something like this in your lives. If you have, you will understand what I mean. However fleeting it may be, the experience of it, the memory of it, knowing such a beautiful state of mind is possible lights up the rest of life. It lightens our most burdensome hours and lights up the finest.
If you haven’t had it, I wish it for you because this is Grace.